.....We were supposed to be going in the Shed with it’s new all improved 1380, days of work to get it road worthy, you know four wheels and a set of brakes. Thursday night comes and its alive and sounding sweet, we were up to the Sally Gunnel stage, nothing to look at but a bloody good runner. (I know I’ve used it but it’s a classic). Friday I got the phone call, the shed was not going to make it, apparently she was a bit cranky about the whole thing (did you see what I did there…..)

So after a quick wire up job on the Beemer the Mini CAB was born CB an all. So as the official support vehicle/mini herder, off we went to Dobbies in Shrewsbury, closely followed by Denise & Paula in the Bini, Burglar in his mini and Tony following up the rear in the clubman (bless, did struggle to keep up with the oil burners) 

Dobbies was as full as an egg of over excited faces, so after 20 minutes of Dazzler the disclaimer, (the latest Beano super hero) we rolled out again heading for the VALLLEEEEEEEYS isn’t it look you boyo !!!!! The usual roundabout blockages were eventful, first one out of the garden centre stopped a full jam butty in his tracks until all mini’s were clear, but hey, if that copper had pulled anyone it would have been his worst pull ever!

Each roundabout offered another sacrificial lamb, the public reaction was mixed, some thought the highway code had changed overnight, others wanted to run Dazzler down, mind you, it didn’t help he would stop the traffic and start eating his sandwiches. 

The run to the Horse Shoe Pass (just outside Llangollen) was quite smooth, great roads without breakdowns or major events. Stopped at the top for the required farm yard/ bread combo and to break the seal for the first time. The setting was fantastic if a little on the cold side with snow and ice everywhere. Dazzler lost feeling in the giggle berries, but this was more down to a stray snow ball than the temperature. There were a lot of blue faces hugging mugs of tea in the café.

Then it was wagons role onwards to porthmadog, took a whole 2 miles before we lost about 5 minis, something to do with a rendition of the Pigs over the CB so missed directions (TONY)

So we arrived at Portmadog Beemer up front (from Taxi to pace car, a regular chameleon) ready for the police protesting drive slow, horns blowing, hazards on, driving in 1st at tickover. A few locals wished they had just pulled out in front of me, but they were too busy catching flies with a rabbit in the headlights look on there faces at all these minis parading through their quiet village. (you ain’t from round here are you boyo)

Then on to the bunk houses, after a perfect display of NCP car park attending (limp n all) Busaboy got everyone parked up across the road. On first inspection they did look a little basic and cold enough to make you own nipples like chapel hat pegs… After Bugs blew the lighting circuit with some destroy it yourself wiring, we got some heaters in on an extension which gave feeling back to those hard to reach areas…

The spirited drive, this became quite a discussion point during the evening, some fantastic roads, views and optimistic overtaking. I heard Dazzler was more of a social plodder so sat behind him and behaved accordingly….. 

Beach games: self explanatory, group picture, drag racing and general hooning about in the sand. Then back for the obligatory session of “did you see that” and Olympic drinking. Fantastic food with the running theme of death by meat (Oh My God, was it goooooood), great time had by all. Various games including the 2 pence challenge (place 5 up rectum, grip, walk and release into beer glass, what could be easier) we are closer as a group now!! The bunkhouse did also become a climbing frame, see photo’s for details….Monkey boy....

The morning after the night before, there was some delicate looking faces in the room, peeking over enough aluminium cans to finish Wembley Stadium, so burp, fart, scratch the old fella and off to the climbers café across the road. What a wonderful location…… Top up the meat intake to set us up for the rest of the day, possibly the best full breakfast I have ever had, but always open to offers to prove me wrong…….

Back down to the beach for another photo and a chat to the local constabulary, even brought a riot van, note to self, we must stop threatening small children!! This seemed like a good time to leave, so everyone gathered and set off again to Oswestry where the karting track is.

Everyone seemed to have a good time, not that anyone is competitive at all… Some great racing and some not so, not withstanding this, they still allowed us to take the Mini’s on track. The Brittax Cooper S looked, sounded and smelt (Castrol R) fantastic, but Dazzler again took the crown, even if he had to stop due to the sound of his wheels trying to break for freedom. Everyone’s reaction to the mini plus trailer screaming round was stunning.

In all a fantastic weekend, broken drum (you can’t beat it), you just wouldn’t change a thing, I’ve missed loads out but thought this was long enough, I’m sure everyone else’s will make more sense and include all events. So if I’m allowed I will be back.

In the words of Burglar “ we’re here all week, try the Veal”